puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
