How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
