Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
