i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
birth control should be required to get into college
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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