He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
