If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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