He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
