someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize