i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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