I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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