Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
