my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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