So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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