My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
4 words: hood of his car
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
