I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
