i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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