tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
