Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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