You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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