where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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