I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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