I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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