I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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