ugly people sure do ruin things
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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