We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
