So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
