oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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