Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I didn't notice because vodka
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
