I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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