is your mom at the bar?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
