You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
