I wannas sexs uuuuu
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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