Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.