The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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