when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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