Sry I called you an 8
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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