never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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