I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
