Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
