i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
