Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
