She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
