I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't deserve a penis
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
