R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
