no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
