true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
is that a dick in a sweater?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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