Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
