Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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