Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
