Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
