Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
