We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
