im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
