i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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