would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
