we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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