you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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