How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
