he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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