I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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