I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
