You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
